I’m not a person with a lot of regrets.
There, I said it.
But with my Awakening journey, there’s one thing I wish I’d done differently.
Like many others, when I Awakened I really had no support. So after the acute symptoms subsided, I stumbled along for 2 more years before I made any real headway in integrating my experience.
There’s ONE thing that I could have done to help me make sense of what was happening.
This one, easy weekly practice would have kept me more grounded in the whole experience and allowed faster progress through my internal changes.
What’s more, it could have kept me going when times got tough or when I felt really alone in my process.
Sure, I did daily Morning Pages (writing 3 pages of free associations each morning). But this practice only kept me mired in the minutia of my everyday thoughts and emotions.
While it did help me to get my anxiety out through writing, it didn’t help me integrate my experience or make sense of it.
For that, you need a little distance.
Looking back, what I wish I’d done is record my realizations, insights, synchronicities, my wins and challenges BY THE WEEK.
Doing this one simple thing would have given me not only a record of my Awakening journey for posterity, it would have helped me see more easily the larger themes and patterns that were coming up for me to heal, and that could have given me some encouragement when I was feeling most desperate.
That’s because when you have a neat bullet list of all the things that you’re working on at an internal level, you can relate back to them at a distance, without getting caught up in the process as much. AND you can see how far you’ve come.
Recording your Awakening journey through a blog, vlog, scrapbook or bullet journal is an amazing way to capture your inner process.
I’m sure that if I had done this, I’d made better sense of my Awakening as a whole.
Because one thing we all have in common during Awakening, even though no one has the exact same experience, is that you can get lost in it and not see the forest for the trees.
Especially if you’re working with racing thoughts, health problems, a lot of anxiety and essentially the Tower Card as your life as you knew it prior to Awakening starts to BLOW UP.
Keeping a detailed macro account of your major accomplishments gives you a big picture of your journey. You can reflect on the lessons that come your way and see themes that resurface and spiral back, over and over.
If you don’t know that your themes are supposed to come back like this, it can be pretty discouraging.
You might end up like me, shaking your fist, exasperated, going, “I thought I dealt with this. Why is it coming back AGAIN?!”
But if you have a record, you’ll start to see patterns.
You can see how 2 months ago you had a problem with putting other people’s needs before your own, and this month AGAIN a similar drama has manifested. You will CLUE IN that this is in fact a spiritual lesson coming back for deeper, more sincere introspection.
Adding details like how you handled the drama last time can even help you decide how you want to handle it this time around.
So I urge you to document your Awakening in some way.
My suggestion is a weekly record so you can get some distance. The point of keeping a short weekly blog entry or vlog is to help you from getting caught up in the tiny details as they’re happening and going down those rabbit holes.
Instead of writing 3 pages on the fight you just had with your mother and how that made you feel, at the end of the week you just record what the fight was about, what triggered it, and what you realized about it by the end of the week, after a few days have passed.
By keeping to a weekly summary form, you reflect on the wins and challenges of the week with a bird’s eye view. It takes very little time and you’re more likely to stick with it, too.
Here’s an example of what a weekly summary could look like if you’re using Bullet Form.
Week of May 1st-7th
Found a new way to calm my anxiety by tapping the cheekbones
Meditation was easier this week. I was able to come back to my breathing more easily and not get drawn into my negative thoughts.
Disengaged from a fight with Dad instead of allowing him to get to me. Realized that his needing to control me is his problem and not mine.
Had an idea for a new painting while walking through Bowen Park. See black sketchbook.
Told Alex the truth this week about how I feel about his drinking around me.
Anxiety level for the week: 8/ 10
Had a dream about losing my driver’s license and my ex driving my car, which made me think about my choices. Am I really the one “behind the wheel” or am I letting other people’s desires overshadow my own?
Do you record your Awakening journey in some way? Are you recording it at a micro or macro level? Let me know in the comments!
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With love on your journey
Spiritual Awakening is Only the Beginning